Today was a college day, so I woke up bright and early to get ready. As usual, I ended up arriving forty minutes early, and so I sat there just flicking through my phone, stalking people's Instagram posts when I accidentally clicked on a video.
Now, in the mornings I'm usually one of three people who get there majorly early and the other two know each other and talk like normal people, and then there's me - the unsociable girl on the other side of the room. I'm quite happy with our unwritten rule where I ignore them and they ignore me. Anyway, today only one of them was in early, so it was just me and the boy at the very back and the only sound was pure silence. Until the video I accidentally clicked on started blaring out very loud music and I couldn't shut it up for at least five seconds.
Now, five seconds doesn't seem like a lot until you are literally in that situation. I despise attention and I'm ninety per cent sure he looked up to see what the ruckus was about. Eventually I turned it off and I went straight onto WhatsApp to tell my friend Maya about the whole ordeal. Most people wouldn't be embarrassed by that, but as I said, I despise attention. I wouldn't call myself shy, I just generally don't like spending prolonged periods of time in social situations because they emotionally drain me - communication with people I don't know, acquaintances and even people I class as friends is very difficult for me. I'm over-conscious of the way I talk and how I sound and what facial expressions to make and "do I look stupid pulling this face", "have I made enough eye-contact", etc. It is very, very draining and is the main reason for my staying in all the time. Communication online is so much easier for me. I'm fine with family members and friends who I'm comfortable around, but it takes so long for me to be comfortable around people that it becomes this whole horrid ordeal and it really, really sucks! I honestly do envy people who are natural conversationalists and the sorts.
Anyway, my problems aside and back to today, we watched One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest and then answered some questions on it. Luckily I've seen the film before because for the last hour of it, I was desperate for the toilet and could barely concentrate on what was happening because even though we're allowed to just get up and go to the toilet when we please and without permission, I sit right at the front and I'd have had to walk in front of the screen and I'm far too awkward for that. Luckily, we had a break as soon as the movie was over, so no accidents happened!
Since getting home, I've watched Megamind (because I love that film and hadn't seen it for at least a year) and chilled on Tumblr. I also had a pretty tasty jacket potato for dinner but there was so much I literally couldn't eat it all.
That's all for today. Apologies for the lack of pictures - this is probably the wordiest post yet!
Have an enjoyable night!
Ash
